Gratitude is well known as effective mental medicine while riding out life’s downs. By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you put your struggles into perspective.
But for the gratitudinally-challenged, accentuating the positive is tough. And for them, Dr Tim Sharp, proposes a new approach that starts with negative thinking.
It seems counter-intuitive to suggest that negative thoughts can lead to happiness. But what Dr Sharp suggests isn’t to throw yourself into a downward spiral of mental gloom, but rather, to let yourself imagine your life without what you’ve got.
On his blog, Dr Sharp asks readers to imagine what their lives would be like without something they highly value. Instead of simply thinking about something positive, he encourages them to think about how life might look without it.
The fancy pants name for this Jedi-mind-trick is ‘mental subtraction’. A group of researchers from the University of Virginia tested this method and found that participants who reflected on positive life events in this way, reported more positive feelings than those that didn’t.
How does negative thinking for gratitude work?
Instead of just thinking about a positive in your life, think about the circumstances that made it possible. Consider how these may have never happened, and reflect on all the events that could have gone differently and prevented them from occurring. Then, in detail, think about how your life might be different without it.
For example, naturally positive people might think:
“I’m so lucky to have a stable income right now.”
This thought alone will be enough to incite positivity. But for others, feelings of gratitude might come only after mentally subtracting like so…
“If I didn’t have such a supportive family, I may not have had the chance to apply for this job in the first place which has provided us all a roof over our head. Without that, we wouldn’t have somewhere to be at home, safe right now, with a kitchen to cook meals in, a backyard to play in and in a neighbourhood we love, where we are able to walk.”
Mentally subtracting positive events doesn’t have to be a substitute for positive thinking, but can act as an extra step for people who find it difficult to see their glass half full. Because sometimes life’s lemons require a little extra effort to juice.
If we’re not convincing enough, consider Joni Mitchell’s melodic counsel:
“you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.”
Do you have any other top tips for finding gratitude? Share them in the comments below to help others find their grateful flow!